How to Tell if I’m a Bridezilla and does it really matter
BRIDEZILLA (noun): a woman who’s behavior in planning her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerably demanding.
First off, if you’re asking the question then you should be good. At the majority of our weddings we hear, “I’m not a Bridezilla I promise…” To which our response is, within reason, it’s your day so it’s kinda allowed. BUT if you are truly worried, here are 3 pointers for ways to avoid Bridezilla-dom:
- Read, understand and question your contracts: We cannot stress this enough. Most questions you have before, during and after the wedding planning process can be found in your contract. The excitement of choosing that “perfect” vendor and ticking another task off the checklist can cause you to overlook some questionable clauses during the vendor selection process. These questions may come during the planning or after the wedding day, but they are likely included in that contract. Knowing ahead of time is half the battle. The other half is having it there as a reference is the need arises.
- Have a planner that is on the same page: This is even more important for those Type A personalities (be honest with yourself here)… If you find a planner, get one early and get on the same page quickly. The right planner gives you a second set of trained eyes on vendor contracts and will know how to eliminate some craziness, mitigate some damage and negotiate on your behalf (we have a few suggestions if you go to our Preferred Vendor page). They will also be your advocate so that “Bridezilla moments” would be few and far between. You will get to enjoy your planning process and then the planner do a lot of the heavy lifting.
- Clarify your expectations from the start: this is a multi-purpose tip and rings true for vendors, weddings guests and most important your wedding party. For vendors, you need to stay in tune throughout the planning process, whether you book them a year ahead or just a few weeks. Remember who your client is, what their requests are (or evolve to become) and why they chose you. For guests, you need to make sure they have a basic idea of expectations. For example, if it’s a casual gathering, tell them so that they don’t show up in suits; if it is an outdoor wedding in June, tell them so that they don’t show up in pants and sweaters; if you prefer donations to a honeymoon fund instead of gifts, tell them or you are going to get a bunch of purple Bed Bath & Beyond boxes. For your wedding party, oh man this is HUGE. Set the expectation for associated costs of the wedding party; timeline requirements for attire, pre-celebration and day-of activities; and ya know, sobriety…
Too many friends, family and vendors use the term “Bridezilla” freely to describe a bride who has demands. Wanting to make sure what you’ve paid for is done correctly is expected.
Paying for one thing and demanding additional services at no charge, well that’s not cool. There are shows on tv about Bridezillas, there are articles on Pinterest about Bridezilla stories and moments; there are vendors and friends <hopefully> jokingly calling you a Bridezilla at the smallest request.
It’s your wedding day and you will have requests and even demands. Own it and be polite about it. If something is done wrong, tell that person. If someone is being a poopyhead, tell that person. It’s not being a Bridezilla, it’s caring about your wedding day and you’ve earned that right.
In lighter news, weddings will have “moments” and it is how you, as well as your wedding party and vendors, handle those moments that will make or break your experience. So enjoy this wedding fails video and know that, things happen… Smile and Laugh and Know that you get to marry your person at the end of the day.
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